Show Me What I'm Looking For
by chrissynoel
Summary: Jasper Whitlock is part of the most hated gang in Washington, his past is hidden deep beneath him, but what happens when he lets a girl get to him? can he stand another let down? Because that's all that seems to be in his life right now, let downs. AH
1. Invisible

**Hope you like it.**

**12:00pm**

It was my pleasure to kill. It gave me power, the power of life or death the power of being the ultimate predator. No one could stop me and no one ever will. I thought these looming facts as I stared aimlessly at the dull lunch table. I watched the students walk past, distancing themselves a bit more when they passed me. They were right to do so. I was the most feared person in the state of Washington, and I'm only 19, going on 20 next month. You're probably wondering to yourself _'if you have all this power then why are you at school?'_ because my friend, knowledge is key. You need it for everything. If I didn't attend school I would be buried at the Seattle Cemetery by now. I'm Jasper Hale, or now I guess you could call me Jasper Whitlock ever since my family disowned me five years ago. I have a twin sister named Rosalie, she hates my guts, As I do to her. My father is in jail and our mother isn't here anymore. I looked up to watch the Cullen's enter the room. They were the stuck up rich kids from New York who loved to flaunt what they had. Well, two out of three were at least. Emmett was big, and I mean weight lifter super, intimidating to _most_ people, not me though. He had dark curly hair and was the quarterback of the football team. Then in came Edward, he had bronze hair and wasn't as muscular as Emmett but the muscle was still visible. He was a bit shorter then me but not by that much. And in came _her._ The one who wasn't like her brothers, she was humble and kind and..beautiful. She was small, pixie like with short black spiky hair that seemed to go everyway, she never seemed to walk, it was more of a dance. She was in every volunteer club known to Washington and she got nothing less then straight A's. Her name was Alice Cullen and her smile could melt the hardest heart, even mine for a split second, until I was accompanied by my gang. We didn't have a name, yet most seemed to call it Whitlock's, yes I was the leader of the menacing group of men. There was Jacob, my right hand man, Sam, Jared, Paul, and Erik Yorkiee, why we even had the Yorkiee kid with us I didn't know, something about his kung fu moves or something. The bell rang and the students gave a wide birth from them and my group. We went our separate ways and I found my self in English. School was easy to pass through when every adult was afraid of you, so they didn't bother to call on you.

"Good morning class! Today Alice would like to share some information about some interesting volunteer work!" the teacher introduced Alice to the front, she was caring a stack of papers.

"Freeway 50 needs a clean up! Lately there has been some who think it's a waste land and it would be a sad way to represent our town!" she began and drowned on, finally she passed a paper to each desk, when she reached mine, her hand seemed to stay on my desk for just a second longer then anyone else's. It was probably just my imagination though. When Mr. Barnes called roll everyone said "here" or "present" while I just raised my hand, I didn't like to talk. In fact, I haven't spoken a word since I was ten, you don't need to know the reason why, it's not like it's important, it's not like I'm important.

**11:57pm**

My honey blonde hair was just long enough to put in a pony tail and I put my black beanie on over it. I had on my regular coat that went to my knees, I never took it off, and it wasn't like it would stand out seeing how cold Fork's usually is. My jeans were warn and ripped and my warn down black converse seemed to be a size to small. As I walked down the chilling street, I didn't get much as a hello, the smallest smile or even a glance my way, it was like I was invisible. Nothing new. I walked into the beaten down bar and sat at a lonely bar stool, the place was practically disserted. I rested my chin on my hand, my elbow leaning against the table. I closed my eyes and relaxed for a second before,

"Good after noon sir, can I help ya with anything today?" I knew the voice to well, I opened my eyes to see Alice Cullen standing over me with a heart shattering smile." Alice Cullen working at a bar? Well that's something you don't see everyday. I shook my head she smiled again. If you need anything just get my attention and I'll be right over." She concluded, heading to the kitchen area. It looked like she was closing the bar and I waited until she asked me to leave, but she didn't.

"Door's always open" she promised as she walked out, the door was unlocked. She left me there to sit alone in the dimly litted room. A couple minutes passed. And that's when I heard it, it was a high, soprano scream coming from a darkened alley. _Alice._

_**Hope you like it, I will explain so much more as the chapters continue but you guys gotta review or I wont be motivated to do the next chapter **__****__** Thank you.**_


	2. Scream

I was working late tonight and was just about to close up, when I heard it. The creaking floorboards by the door made my head jerk up. Jasper Whitlock. This man was highly looked down upon in our community, I've heard horror stories of him and his gang jumping innocent people at foreboding hours of the night. Just thinking about it made the hair on the back of my neck go ridged. Was he really as dangerous as everyone thought of him as? It seemed such at school as the children gave the group much space to roam. Even the police are terrified of them. Isabella Swan's father was the chief of police and I've heard it straight from them, and quite often on account that she's my adoptive brother, Edward's, girlfriend. It seems like the whole town hates them. Jasper Whitlock was quite beautiful. He was tall and muscular, his honey-blonde hair was hard to make out with the beanie on. He looked stressed, yet mainly tired as he took in a breath and shut his eyes. Before I knew it, I was right there, just 3 inches away.

"Good after noon sir, can I help ya with anything today?" I asked, as he slowly opened his eyes, I smiled. He shook his head ever so slightly.

"If you need anything just get my attention and I'll be right over." I nodded and continued to turn things off in the kitchen. After I was done I headed for the door, my high heels clicked softly and I watched him for just a minute.

"Door's always open" I promised holding the door knob. I left him to think and sort through whatever was getting to him.

_Click. Click. Click. Click._

My shoes made it's way out the door but then stopped. For, from the corner of my eye I saw something move. _It's ok Alice, your mind's just playing tricks on you. _I thought, but I took off my heels anyway, just incase I had to run. I was building up a scream if I needed it also. I turned around to meet a tall pair of dark eyes. The light from the street lamps were dim making it impossible to make out who it was so I screamed. At that same moment I could feel the figure grab my shoulder with one hand and my mouth with the other He slammed me against the cold brick wall that surrounded the alley we were now in. I saw two more figures step out from the shadows. I was slammed once again into the wall. This time, my eye sight went hazy and I could feel blood rushing down. I felt my arms being cut open to what it felt to be glass, but it could have been anything. My eyesight was just barley coming back when I saw a silver bat making contact with my leg, then my stomach, then my chest, I couldn't feel anything, I was completely numb. I watched as the boys stepped back and there beheld _him. _Jasper. He looked down at my gnashed up body on the floor. The boy passed the bat to him and it sounded like he said

"Would you like the honors?" Jasper nodded and took the bat. A pang of fear over whelmed me. This was it. I was going to die in the hands of Jasper Whitlock, my crush. I watched him take a step forward and he raised the bat over his head, and I didn't, couldn't watch him anymore. This was it. This was it.


	3. Disception

"Ow!" The one who had handed Jasper the bat wailed. I then could faintly make out running, I heard the bat fall to the ground, the pavement catching it. I couldn't move, I tried to open my eyes but I couldn't and the numbness had worn off, I felt everything. After a few attempts, I could open my eyes, when I did I saw a figure, hovering over me with a cell phone.

"I need an ambulance! Now! Excesevive bleeding. 6th street. How long? That's to long! Never mind I'll take her myself!" My mind was swerving in and out of consciousness. I watched the figure, yet it was hard to see through my rapid tears. I felt the figure pick me up and we ran.

JPOV

_Alice. _I ran out of the bar to find Alice being slowly slaughtered by my 'friends' When they saw me they stopped abruptly, thinking I would want to join in as almost every night.

"Would you like to do the honors" Jared asked, putting the, at the moment, sickening tool, in my hand I nodded, having something else in mind. I looked down in pain at her agonized body. I felt horrible, more then horrible, words can't describe how horrible I felt, so I turned the guiltiness into anger and slammed down with every single ounce of strength I had in me onto Jared. He collapsed and did what he could to run away, Sam and Jacob got the gist and were gone in no time, running all the way down the street. Alice was barley conscious, she needed help _quick. _So I began to involuntarily do something I hadn't done in so many years.

"I need an ambulance! Now! " I nearly screamed into the phone.

"What and where is the Emergency?"

"Excessive bleeding. 6th street. "

"An Ambulance should be coming-"

"How long? " I interrupted.

"twenty minutes" she said sounding like she was searching for something.

"That's to long! Never mind I'll take her myself!" I growled and lifted up the dying girl.

I ran for who knows long, and I began to hear sirens in the background, but I couldn't be sure since the rain decided to pour endlessly. I stopped when I saw the dim red lights flashing. Twp Paramedics ran out and took her from me, and glared towards me to the point in which I thought if looks could kill. I watched the ambulance race into the night until all I heard were echoes of the siren. The hospital wasn't far off from there, so not before to long did I see the sign that read PORT ANGELES EMERGENCY HOSPITAL I cringed. This was all _my_ fault. I knew that it was dangerous to walk the streets of Port Angeles if it was past ten, I also knew that my gang liked to hang around these parts of town. I sighed. As I made my way into the parking lot I noticed a police car that read CHIEF on the side. _Swan's here, even better._ I thought saecastically. I went through the automatic doors. And stopped at the front desk.

"Excuse me, there was a patient who has just been admitted, Alice Cullen, do you know which room she's in?" I asked. The women shuffled her papers about until she found it.

"Are you a family member?" she asked. I shook my head.

"I' sorry but she can't have any visitors right-"

"Please" I begged. She looked up at me for a long time and finally sighed.

"She's in room 462, but you didn't here it from me, she's been in the ICU for the past hour, so I can't tell you if you will find her." She informed me and I nodded. I went through the many hallways and when I finally turned the corner that her room was in, I saw a figure far off standing by her door. When he met my eyes I was just almost afraid, almost. The man ran threateningly over to where I stood. As he came closer I could see the police badge and a belt with a gun attached to it.


	4. Ignorance

**Narrator: can I have a part? PLeeeeeeAaaase???????**

**Me: NO!**

**Narrator: PLEASE?????**

**Me: NO STOP ASKING!**

I stood there, unable to move, unable to do anything but watch Chief Swan run down the halls when he got within five feet I tried to dfend myself.

"It's not what you think I-" before I could finish I felt his fist make contact with my face.

"Don't you come near her again!" Another punch. I watched him pull out his gun, he started playing with it.

"Your not worth it! Your just trash, worthless, it'ed be better for everyone around here if you were dead!" And when he said that I heard a voice overshadowing it, a voice I despised with all my might.

"I'm not trash" I said, my voice weak.

"I'm not trash!" I yelled pushing him away and quickly exiting the building. I ran past the street into the forest, running, running, until a good 30 minutes passed. I stopped. I knew where I was, I was in La Push, to be more specific, I was at the cliff in which the kids used for recreational purposes, but I wouldn't be using it for such light things. I took a step forward, inching closer to the edge. He was right, maybe it would be better if I was dead.

_Suicide doesn't solve anything. _I heard a voice so clear it sounded as if she were next to me.

"Yes it does" I answered back. I was debating whether it was my conscience, or a memory of one of Alice's speeches. I decided to go with the memory.

_Don't do it. _I was now breathing hard, deciding whether to listen to Alice or just jump.

_If you think suicide is the answer out, it's not, each person has a tie with another, you affect each person you meet whether it be good or bad you still hold that connection. Someone WILL miss you._

And I can distinctly remember her looking straight at me. I owed her that much to apologize, then I could… I thought it over for awhile, sitting on a rock. The sun started setting as I made my way back to the hospital. I walked around the outside seeing which one would be Alice's, the hospital was only two stories long and she was on the bottom floor, so it was easy to find her window. I creaked open the window and found the room empty beside's the torn girl laying on the bed. I moved in swiftly and shut the window without a sound. She had multiple IV's and various other needles stuck into her. She was sound asleep and she looked even more peaceful and beautiful then possible. I sat down on a chair by her bed and rested. Before long I was sound asleep.

But like always, my sleep was interrupted by screaming. I woke up to Alice sitting up right in her bed, instead of looking at me like I thought she would have, she was starring at her bed sheets which held a medium sized brown spider on it. I picked it up and watched it crawl around my hand. Alice looked up at me and smiled. At least _she _wasn't mad at me. I opened the window and let the spider crawl down the wall and into a nearby tree. I shut the window once more and retrieved back to my chair.

"Hello" I said softly, my voice still a bit scratchy from lack of use.

"So you do talk, it was you…" I was pretty sure I held a questionable look.

"I mean.. you were the one that called, thank you" she said sincerely.

"Your welcome, and, I'm sorry" I looked down at my feet.

"For what?" she asked

"For not getting there on time." I answered and she stared deep into my eyes.

"It's not your-"

"Yes it is! I should have known better then to let you leave alone at night!" She looked down as I said it.

"I always walk home at that time of night." She muttered.

"You better go before someone see's us" she suggested, and after much internal debating, I agreed and slipped back out the window.

"So. Are you going to tell us what _that, _was all about?" Sam's voice rang into my ear. I turned around to see Sam, Jared and Paul facing me.

**Sorry it took so long! My laptop has been broken since July and It's finally fixed I should have it by tomorrow! I've had to sneak to write this chapter on my family computer! Please review!**


	5. Outcast

**JPOV**

"Well?" Sam practically yelled.

"It was nothing." I muttered walking in the opposite direction of which they stood.

"That wasn't _nothing _you don't just damage one of your own for a worthless girl!" he nearly growled.

"She's _not _worthless, you say that again and I'll-"

"Yeah Whitlock? What are you going to do? Last time I checked there was one of you, and three of us." I really didn't need this right now, so I kept walking farther away, not speaking to them as I turned onto the main road.

**APOV**

I was unable to sleep after Jasper was gone. It was nearly an hour before anyone came in the room. It was Carlisle, my parental guardian, and doctor.

"How do you feel?" he asked, sitting on a chair by the bed.

"I'm fine" I faked a smile, he had doubt in his eyes.

"How much longer do I have to stay here? When can I go back to the bar?" I asked.

"You'd want to go back there after what happened?" he asked surprised. I nodded.

"I don't know why your grandfather thought that it was a good idea for you to work there." he laughed bitterly. I pleaded silently and after along while he said,

"Well your good enough to now, if I were evil I would have said 'you'll have to stay overnight for observation' but, I think you'll do just fine." he smiled. I hugged him but then laid back down, it hurt to do anything else but so.

"Or maybe you should, you just tarred out some stitches" he sighed. I huffed closing my eyes. I heard Carlisle's phone buzz and he picked it up in a heart beat.

"Hello? Yeah, I want to keep her in overnight. No, I don't think that's such a good idea, I don't need them stressing her out. Ok, love you, bye."

"Esme?" I asked, Esme was my adoptive mother. She was the kindest woman in the world.

"Yes, she wanted to bring everyone down here, but I don't think that's such a good idea. Edward, Emmett and you don't seem to always…eh…see eye-to-eye on things." Edward and Emmett, I really don't even think they like me. They think I'm a freak, just like the rest of the world. I don't belong anywhere, besides that horrible place my biological parents had put me in. I shivered just thinking about it.

"They really aren't that bad, once you get to know them." Carlisle defended, as if reading my mind. I fought back the burning urge to roll my eyes. I had joined the Cullen family about five months ago. The place I had mentioned earlier, better known as an asylum, burned down. So the minors were sent into foster care. All of Dr. Carlisle and Esme Cullen's kids are adopted. They've had Edward since he was ten, Emmett since A year after Edward, at 13. And I was the outsider to them, invading their family. On top of being unnaturally short, I frequently had visions. It started when I was nine, my life had only gone down hill from there. Even though I was A 'Cullen' I was still the freak at school, Edward or Emmett never associated with me, they were to self-absorbed. They had girlfriends that matched their personalities. They all felt the same towards me, they just wish that I would die already, and make their family right again. Carlisle and Esme accepted me right away, keeping reminding me that my power was a great gift. But why was it such a great gift? It couldn't see _this _happening! And I'm outcasted because of it, no, it's more of a curse. A curse that I can never undo, I'm in it for life.

**Please review!**


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